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10/09/2010

And the door opens......

                    Before the initial phone to call to my Dad, I asked for my sister Susan’s blessing to go on this journey.  She too, had no contact with him and said if this is what I wanted to do, she would go along with it.  After I called her to tell her of my conversation with our Dad, she had agreed to go to Florida with me to “meet” our Dad.    I had an e-ticket  which if you know e-tickets, you are at the mercy if someone does not come so you can get on the plane.  Of course, as things were going, it came down to the last spot.  The flight attendant knew my story of reuniting with my Dad and that this was the “first” time seeing him.  She was really trying to get me on the flight and she practically screamed with delight that I indeed was getting on that flight. It was a three and half hour plane ride that seemed to take days to get there. I went over in my head what I was going to say when I saw my Dad. During the flight, I must have changed my mind fifty times and thought, let go - let God.  As I do not believe in coincidences, it was God that set up our flights to arrive fifteen minutes of each other so my dear step-mother  didn’t have long to wait for me. I got off the plane to find my sister running up to me with tears in her eyes.  Here starts the high emotions and it didn’t stop for a week! I then met my step-mother. She gave me the most comforting hug a person could get.  I thought, she too, must be going through her own emotions of now acquiring not one, but two step-daughters.  She never let on anything but joy.  She put up with my sister and I “stalling” before meeting our Dad. We went to the local church for a prayer and then a CVS for something to drink and then she said it was time. We pulled up in front of their villa and their neighbor was outside her door.  She was just standing there with arms crossed way to excited. I asked my step-mother who she was and she said that my Dad told her what was going on and she wanted to meet us.  I said, “nope - not getting out of the car.” Thankfully the neighbor went back in her house.  I just wanted to “meet” my Dad first before being introduced to anyone else! 
                   
                              Knowing the story from my Dad, that when my sister and I were in the car, he was peeking through his blinds from the bedroom window so he really did see us first! After about fifteen minutes our step-mother said “come on, your Dad is not getting any younger!” That made us get out and my sister pushed me first saying this was your idea, you go in first! And then the door opens, and there he is.  Can’t tell you exactly what I thought but here was a man with his arms wide open and tears in his eyes and hugged me like there was no tomorrow.  I hugged him back and said “hi.” I quickly stepped aside to let my sister hug her Dad.  I somehow felt that she had more of an emotional tie than I did.  To be honest, I didn’t feel anything. I felt numb and was praying to get out of that feeling but didn’t. On the other hand, my sister made up for any lack of emotion as we all sat down after “pleasantries” and we talked to him about the why’s and why not’s. My Dad had said many things but the one thing that made the most impression, his apology.  To me, they were more than words. They were filled with regret, remorse and guilt. 


                    Truly that was enough for me. The rest of the visit that week was a joyful time and new beginnings were started. I did not have to hear any more apologies as it’s in the past, you can not go back and change it, so why keep harping on it. I am sorry that it really did take a few weeks before I could call him Dad. I did feel I had to start the process of getting to know this man who is my father. Thankfully today, he is apart of our family as well as my step-mother who never calls me her step-daughter but daughter and I, too call her my mom. If it wasn’t for that faithful day in the hospital, I might not have my Dad back in my life. Next blog, hurricanes? What are hurricanes. Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time.

4 comments:

  1. and it was a big WOW for me - thanks for commenting!

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  2. Well, I'll get the negative out of the way first...pish on that nosy neighbor! I don't blame you for stalling on that one! Family forgiveness can be so hard sometimes, and it's an arduous process indeed. But you, your sis and your dad showed such bravery and strength and I am so happy that it happened for all of you. And your stepmom sounds like an amazing lady!

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  3. She is Kathy - but it's been an interesting journey even today. I agree with you about the neighbor, she just stood there - staring at us like animals in a cage! Glad she went inside her house too! As always, thanks for commenting :)

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