Answering Machine a blessing? Mona’s story.

         I had a best friend named Mona whom I lived one door down when I lived in New York. We lived on the end of the building and Mona and her kids lived one door down. This made for great times. Looking back, I truly felt for our next door neighbor that dealt with us screaming over the fences to one another.  In my late teens/early twenties, I would often go over to her house and just talk. She has two boys and one girl (which would happen to me years later,) that I was in awe of how she was raising them. Their father was in their lives but I spent more time with her and the kids. She loved to barbecue. My mother would say, as the screen door was open, “there they go again, barbecuing!” I would quickly run over with hotdogs or whatever I would want to barbecue as we really didn’t do that much barbequing until I met Billy. Yes, in the dead of winter, snow piled three feet high, she was barbecuing! She would scream over the fence for me to come over. And I did, every time. We started a friendship that I loved. When Billy and I got married, we of course, invited the whole clan. 



    I loved that red dress. That was her. We all had the best time at the wedding. At the end of the wedding, Billy and I were saying goodbye to our guests and then we looked at each other and said - um, how are we getting back to the house? We never made “those” arrangements. Thank God, Mona forgot something in the hall and saw us and said she would take us back to my mom’s house before we left on our honeymoon. Big dress and all, we all squeezed into the van. She also graciously offered to take us to the airport in Queens, New York. No short ride. As we were getting near the airport, she missed the exit and yes, she backed up on the highway and got off the right exit. Thought I was going to die before the honeymoon even started! 

    Fast forward to when I thought I was pregnant with my first born. I went to the doctors office to make sure I was pregnant, and got the news that I was indeed expecting my first born. Got  home to run over to her house to tell her first. She stood there with tears and we hugged and cried. Didn’t even tell Billy or my mom yet. That was the special relationship we had.

    Then it was time for us to move to Missouri. Days leading up to us leaving were awful. We would see each other on the sidewalk and just cry. The night before we left, we hugged so long and wouldn’t let go. The next day we were off  to Missouri to start a new life.

     I would send “snail mail” to her as I did not have a computer, pictures of the kids or at Christmas time that Christmas photo card with the kids in their Christmas outfits. I loved that she told me the picture was up on their refrigerator. Made me feel that she wasn’t going to forget us.

        We went back a couple of times but then there was a longer break between visits. I had Maria during the summer of 1996 and going back to New York proved harder with three little ones. It was May of the following year when I got a package from  Federal Express, from Mona. I was so excited to open it up and see she had gotten me an outfit for Maria, along with a hand written stationary card. The outfit was adorable and she also included pictures from her daughters college graduation the weekend prior. Looking at the photo, you are looking at it from her eyes as she took the picture.



    Still makes me smile that you know how proud she must have been to see all three of her children graduate from top schools as in Michigan State, Duke and University of North Carolina. Remember there was no applying to colleges online. I remember seeing all the stacks, upon stacks of papers, applications on the kitchen table. She was the super mom who did it all. Drove them with the rental truck to their college dorms, dropped them off and called to tell me how sad, yet proud she was of them.

    In her card she said that she will try not to let so much time go by before I hear back from her. I totally understood. Having three children now - I get it. I called around 6 o’clock that Friday evening and left her a message that said, I got her package and loved the outfit and card and how I loved the picture of the kids. I went on to say, not to worry about not getting back sooner and as I was ending my message, I said to her “I love you so much my friend, and we’ll talk soon!”


                 The next day, my sister called me at one in the afternoon with news that Mona had passed away last night.   I told her that was impossible as I got this gift and card and left her a message last night. My world stopped.    I was blessed to have gotten the chance to attend her funeral a few days later and my heart was crushed to see her children.              

         

        I was hugging her daughter and told her of the day I got the package and how I left her that message. She didn’t know what message I was talking about as their answering machine light was not on and there was no new messages. It was at that point, we had figured out that Mona had listened to my message  before she passed away. How blessed, how blessed was I that my friend heard the words “I love you my friend and we’ll talk soon” before she left this earth. Don’t you see, you never know when you do something that will affect your life forever. I take that blessing with me everyday. Every day I look at my two boys and one girl and think, would Mona say that or do that for her kids. 

     I love you Mona and miss you more everyday. You would be so proud of the way your children are now as adults. I know we will see each other again and I hope you are proud of the mom that I have become. Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time.

Friends that are LIKE family - wait - they ARE family!

     Over Memorial Day weekend, Billy, Maria and I went to the west coast of Florida to my cousin’s son’s wedding. Now, that would make us second cousins, I’m sure, but we don’t think of it that way as we ALL are just family. With that said, the days/weeks leading up to the wedding have been, to say the least, stressful. Truly nice to have something to look forward to attending. I truly believe that God puts those not so nice times whether it is regarding work, family, events before you go away as to make you stop and appreciate the time that was given you, to enjoy.  

     We were to arrive Friday and meet up with family at the hotel. Even that Friday morning we were running around packing the van, finishing laundry, buying food for the boys who stayed at home (and not to worry, they apparently had a good time while we were away!) Going over to the west coast via Highway 75 north - there is nothing to do but go straight. I mean really straight. As in, go ahead, put the car on autopilot and take a stinking nap because you seriously do not turn the wheel for 98 miles. It was at that time that Billy, Maria and I just started to relax, get excited about seeing everyone. God bless Facebook as we (family and friends that were attending the wedding) would leave posts on each other’s wall just saying how exciting and fun the weekend will be. Now unfortunately for most people, they would be afraid that the expectations would fall short. Not this group.

     The wedding was schedule for Sunday night so we had the whole weekend to spend with family and friends. We did so by hanging out on the beach, my cousin gave anyone who wanted a ride in his new boat and the rest hung out at the pool area. If you heard laughing, I guarantee it was coming from my family. It was so nice to just take that step back and enjoy each other’s company. We got to catch up on what is going on and it really did feel like we just saw each other last week when it had been probably been a year or two since we’ve seen each other. That’s what makes this family special to me. There’s no negativity that we’ve hadn’t seen each other or nasty shots at one another, it’s taking the situation and making the best out of it. And we did. Apparently there is a video out there of me “making the best out of the situation a bit too much!” 



My cousin, the groom, around one in the morning!

     Talk about letting your hair down. It was Saturday night and we all were around the pool area just laughing and having a good time when I talked to my other cousin’s wife and realized that I hadn’t really talked to her in the past. Now, that could have been uncomfortable but we didn’t skip a beat. Got into great conversations that lead myself and three other women to really letting down our hair. Stress, problems, worries - not here. The fact that my cousin who was getting married had his friends laughing and partying with us made it so much fun. Oh why not. I’ve said it before, you are in charge of your feelings, emotions and actions. I chose to have a good time and I sure did (well, maybe too good of a time……)

     Sunday comes (which we were still up when Sunday came apparently two thirty in the morning,) and God had given us another glorious day. Along the lines of you can’t make this stuff up, the wedding was to begin at six thirty in the evening. It was sunny all day but at six o’clock, it started to drizzle and the sky became dark. Being a faithful person, I started to pray and ask God, please don’t let it rain on their ceremony (which was outside of course, on the beach!) Now I would love to think it was MY prayer that worked but I’m sure there were a ton of people doing the same thing as when the clock hit six thirty and the groomsmen and bridesmaids came out, so the rain stopped and it was cool. No steamy sun or hot humid weather but perfect weather during the whole ceremony.



     As you can see the weather cleared up and the ceremony was beautiful. Cried like a baby. Looking around you could feel the warmth (no pun intended) of love and friendship all around. I truly felt that there was no difference between friends or family. The great part, it was mostly family that just had the best time as friends. Isn’t that what it’s all about? 

       Congrats Emily and Jeremy - may God continue to bless you now and forever. Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time. 

Finale, Facebook and Farewell. Part 3 of Trip to NYC.

            It is with great sadness that I write of the passing of my Father-in-law this past week.  What a journey it has been. Since returning home from our trip in January of this year, the roller coaster ride of his health proved to be a long and painful ride.  Going back to when we returned home from our trip, it was days before Billy and I really talked about the time we were in New York.  How blessed were we to have that alone time with his Dad and Mom. During the visits to the hospital, I had seen my mother-in-law’s love for her husband and felt blessed to have witnessed it. A couple of days had gone by when we were home that we received news that my father-in-law had taken a turn for the worst and again, it was a matter of time that he would not survive. We waited by the phone for that inevitable call that he was gone but…..it never came. We called and was greeted by my mother-in-law that another doctor came in and told them that my father-in-law could make a recovery. Wow. A week or so went by and we got the good news that he was being moved to another rehabilitation center farther north to recuperate . 

    It was at that time that the phone calls we were getting, he was doing ok and even standing with a walker. He was at that point a walking miracle.  But with all operations come setbacks. This was no exception. Once more, came the phone calls that he wasn’t do well and it seemed that his time on earth was drawing near to the end.  I know that I have said it before on my blog but my hope in writing this is to let people know, it is very hard on loved ones that are not near (states away) family  and can not make the trip up when they get that call that things are not good and it is a matter of time. You walk around the house frustrated that you can not do anything. I have always found solace in the fact that I could always pray. 

    Weeks turned into months that it seemed that maybe, just maybe my father-in-law truly was out of the woods and on his way of making a full recovery. During those weeks (months) it has been such a wonderful gift of receiving messages from both my new Twitter friends and my Facebook friends always asking me how my father-in-law was doing. I wish I could somehow draw, photograph, put into words the feeling you get knowing someone is praying for you, your husband and his family that they don’t even know. It was an overwhelming feeling of peace.  That is what we felt these past months. 

     Last Monday night, Billy was on the phone with his mom and had gotten the news that it really does not look good. You want to believe that we have heard this before and maybe he would pull through again. That was not to be the case. The next morning Billy had gotten the call that his dad had passed away peacefully. 

     Let me say for the record, I love Facebook and Twitter  and the ability to get messages that mean the world to me (and my family.) I had posted that after a long and painful journey that my father-in-law had passed away and within minutes, outpouring of sympathy and prayer messages were left on my wall. For us - it was a cyber hug that just felt good. 



Farewell Dad and finally rest in peace. Tell my Mom I said hello.  Ton o’ blessings until next time.

OK - Sorry to tell you, but stop taking “film” of your kid playing lacrosse, he’s still not going to Duke.

        Another year is about to past in my children’s school career. Career you ask? Well, yes. I’ve been told that I better have my son’s resume done properly and isn’t it a shame that he didn’t take more (or any) AP (advance placement) classes.  I truly wish someone would (now maybe me!)  have wrote a book explaining that not all children are the same. The expectation put on children today is astronomical. Being here in South Florida, the sport of lacrosse is now just getting popular. Like it or not, Saint Andrews school in Boca Raton put South Florida lacrosse on the map. They started producing young talent which Division 1 schools started to take notice.  I am thrilled that my boys play the sport and wish I had started them earlier. How many of you have started your children young in hopes of them one day  playing for a Division 1 school. 

        When my oldest was a senior there was a mom (who will remain nameless) came to the games and quietly sat by herself most of the time. I would often try to strike up a conversation but it never really got anywhere. As time went on, this mom was determined that her son was going to be “recognized” for his lacrosse talent. Unfortunately, this player did not have the grades. His playing skills were good but he was not a team player. 

         At one of the games, I went over to say hi and noticed she had a small digital camera taking video of her son. I looked closely to find the camera glass was shattered. I inquired as to what she was looking at as I could not make out a thing on the screen. She just said that she was pointing it towards her son the whole game and that she was sure it would “probably” work.  Um…….I don’t think so, I said to myself.  I asked her what she was going to do with the video in hopes of maybe getting some idea for my sons but, she had no idea. Really, she just thought she would have it “in case” a coach wanted to see it. I smiled (what else was I going to do) and wished her well and said  “hey, let me know how it turns out!”

   

      

     Sorry to say that player did not make it to a Division 1 school on a lacrosse scholarship. Lacrosse scholarships are near impossible to get but you can sign up on the  NCAA website, www.ncaa.org  and they can explain that your player might be eligible for a “sports” scholarship.

     Please let me add my opinion, and that is what a blog is, an opinion, your player (son or daughter) should like the school first before liking it for the sport they play as I have seen personally, excellent athletes who get scholarships to play, either not produce the good grades or have gotten injured and guess where they end up? That’s right, home. There is nothing wrong with encouragement, but please stop pressuring the kids of today with your hopes and dreams that really are not theirs.  Another lacrosse season for us has come to the end and again, my eyes will be filled with tears at the sports banquet saying goodbye to my lacrosse sons. Excited to see what the future brings and always a word of advise that no matter what happens, I’m proud of them and hope we always keep in touch. God bless Facebook and Twitter. Ton o’ blessings until next time.

My Son Matthew (Matty) and I at the last game(before my short hair cut!)  He is looking forward to playing his senior year and hopes to play in college - you know - "in case" any coaches are reading this ;)

Full circle? Not quite but I almost flew off the road!

      Looking back when I was a kid,  I remember how many times  my mother would say “wait until you have kids.” I never gave it another thought as I would say to myself “I am going to let my kids do whatever they want and never punish them…..etc.” She would  tell me that I don’t listen well or I’m not paying attention. I was. Well, I thought I did. With that said, fast forward thirty years.

      How blessed I feel that my oldest son is now coaching his alumni high school Junior Varsity lacrosse team. Truly, this is where he belongs. Mother-of-the-year here had major doubts. Times I would believe he was too quite, non committed in other aspects of his life so how is it that this is a perfect fit!?!  It is a proud mama moment to watch him at practice command attention and instruct his players. 

      A couple of weeks ago as we were driving down to practice together, I looked over to see him look puzzled. Kind of shaking his head in disbelief. As I was driving, I turned to him and asked if he was ok and what was wrong. OK, picture this. I have my hands on the wheel, looking at him and trying to concentrate on the road and cars ahead of me when he turns and says “I don’t get it.” “What don’t you get,” I replied. “How is it that I tell them (his players) what to do, and they don’t listen.” “What??” I nearly ran off the road. “They don’t listen to you?” (Flashbacks here.) He then says, “I know what I am talking about, and they still don’t listen.” 

    OK, are you getting the big picture here? I wanted to scream, “welcome to parenting!,” but I didn’t. I was a supportive mom and let him go on, albeit a bit longer than I thought when I couldn’t resist saying, “you tell them to do something and they don’t do it, and you get upset.” “Hmmmm…you know what you’re doing and they still don’t listen.” “Hmmmm….I feel for ya.” 

      Now, I could not love my son anymore than I do, but he still was not getting the whole parent=coach analogy here, nor did I explain it to him. I just told him to keep doing what he was doing and “mean what you say, say what you mean.” I am thankful that I did not get into a car accident as my head did hurt from swinging back to see his face when he told me, “they just don’t listen!”  Looking up to heaven I said to myself “OK mom, you were right.” 

                     Patrick at his first home game coaching the first ever Junior Varsity game at his old high school. Another proud momma moment.   Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time.

Opposing Parent: “Get Number 1 - push him down!” Me: “But you guys are up 13 - 1?

    As parents, why do you go to your child’s lacrosse (or any other sport for that matter) game? Do you go to support the team, watch your child, socialize with the other parents? For me, it is all of the above. I truly enjoy watching all my children play their respective sports. 

       Yesterday, what I witnessed was appalling.  Please keep in mind that we (meaning the lacrosse team/family) knew that our opponent was going to be difficult to say the least to win. With that said, we just wanted to see a good game. A game that is played with sportsmanship, good passing/catching and excitement! What we got was a mauling from the other team. Do not get me wrong, the team is a good team with the best record but to beat up on us (literally) was uncalled for. 

        We were in trouble  about 4 minutes into the game where we were down 3 - nothing. But that’s ok, we still were encouraging our players to play well and not give up. They were scoring quite quickly and the gap really started to widen.  That’s fine, but, at 13 - 1 and the parents in a frenzy to “whack” our players and score again was a bit much.  I was sitting up on the stands, pretty much by myself (I like to yell - what a shock) when I heard a parent say, “get number one!” “Push him down” “Hey number one stop being a baby and get up!” Ok, that got me aggravated. Our number one player, who that parent was yelling at,  is a freshman playing for the first time on our team. Knowing we are not going to catch up, we are blessed with a coach that believes to put all players in to get the playing time experience.  Then I was walking on the sidelines to hear the coach on the opposing team baiting our defense players. Are you kidding me? Any one that knows me, knew it took all my strength not to go kick that coaches butt and take him out.

      

    This all goes back to my original question. Knowing that your team is going to play a team that will likely beat you, what is your attitude going into watching the game. 

       Not even a week ago, Billy and I, by ourselves went to go see a lacrosse game that was not our team. Why? Because we truly enjoy watching good lacrosse played by good players and watching good coaches. Paid the fee to get in and was certainly not disappointed. Both teams played hard, competitively and was exciting to watch. That is the attitude I had going into yesterday’s game. I just wanted to see good lacrosse. What I got was players that ran up a score/showboated/horrible parent chants and horrible coaching ethics. Come on here people, ESPN was not filming the game, Chazz Woodson was not there recruiting for his team, just play the game.

    I woke up this morning feeling like this blog had to be said. I am embarking on a new blog that will be devoted to lacrosse. I will be interviewing parents/coaches/vendors to get the inside story of what a parent/new player goes through starting out playing this sport. I want to hear what equipment works/what camps work and for that matter doesn’t work to help the player thrive.  Lacrosse here in Florida is still fairly new compared to up north as in New York and Maryland where they have been playing for decades.

      I will never give up this blog as even with all the negativity of yesterdays game - I still walked away feeling positive that our team/families and most important our coaches showed class. That is what is most important here. I am excited to watch my oldest son, Patrick, coach his JV squad in today’s game. There are blessings out there everyday, it’s just up to you to find them. Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time.    

What does a wheelchair and an ATM have in common - me.

       Have you ever tried to help someone and it back fired badly? I have wanted to find this person from Missouri to say sorry for so long. 

           It was before my second son and daughter were born when living in Missouri that one faithful day, my life had changed. Coming from New York, Billy and I were bagel “snobs” and finding a good bagel became a challenge. We had found a small bagel shop about forty minutes south of our house, that came close to a good bagel. The only problem was that this  bagel store was not in the best area. We didn’t care about that as coming from New York we were never intimated going into any neighborhood.  One day, I packed up Patrick who was probably around one and half, and made the trip down to get bagels for the week. It was early in the morning and I got my bagels and a cup of coffee. I was coming out of the store and was putting Patrick into the van. In the corner of my eye, I could see this man in a wheelchair approaching me with what seemed to be a coffee cup. He was raising his cup in air while rolling closer to me. I remember vividly that I did not have any dollar bills or change to give him and truly felt bad.  I made eye contact and with a sorrowful face said “I can’t help you.” He still was rolling closer and now was waving his cup higher and pointing to his cup. I was at that point getting nervous and then thought, what could he do to hurt me? 

       I then quickly got into the van with the window up as he was in front of my van still waving. I went to lower my window to say, please move when he calmly said “you left your coffee cup on top of your roof.” He then proceeded to turn and roll away. Ugh. I seriously opened my door, got my coffee cup off the roof, tried to say thank you but at that point, he was down the street. I’ve never forgotten that man or what happened that day to make me realize that things sometimes aren’t what they seem. To this day, I never, never judge someone based on their circumstances and nether should you.  

         Well, it came back to haunt me nineteen years later. It was just this past week when I was driving up to the ATM at Bank of America. The car in front of me had it’s break lights on so I became worried that this person would go backwards and hit me. I was a bit farther behind so I would not get hit and gently (yes, gently) tapped my horn to say, please don’t hit me. Well, this car almost immediately went in gear and drove off. I didn’t think anything of it and was glad that the car didn’t go backwards. When I was facing the front of the ATM, it was beeping “do you need more time to complete your transaction?” I thought, what the heck? I hit no and then the persons’ ATM card spit out. I can see the car taking off down the road so I took it and took off to get it back to that person. 

          I saw that persons car make a left on a back road so I thought this is not going to be a big deal to get along side of them to return their card. As I started to speed up, they started to speed up. I then got close enough to hang my hand out my window holding their card and I started to scream “hey - you left your ATM card in the machine!” I guess that made them scared as they took off. We went down three or four blocks when the car made a right and flew down the next street. I made the turn and sped up but to avail as they went through the light and made a left. I made the left still screaming - “wait - wait - I have your card!” I then saw the car went into a sub division and I went too. I half expected to see a cop car behind me at this point. I saw that the car pulled into a driveway and the garage door went up. I thought, please don’t make me get out and go the front door. I parked my car on the opposite side of the street to see this woman slowly get out of her car. I calmly said “you left your card in the machine and I wanted to get it back to you.” She looked horrified and embarrassed.  She walked over and said “oh I am so sorry, I didn’t understand why you were ‘chasing’ after me.” She thanked me and I was on my way. I did get a bit upset that I was just trying to help her. I could have emptied her account and instead I ran after her to give her back her card. I was just trying to help! Ugh, so was that man in the wheelchair nineteen years ago. You’re never too old to learn your lesson and sometimes it comes back at you when you least expect it. Life is funny, isn’t it? Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time!

Funeral home funny? Fortunately it was for us.

        It is coming up to eight years and one month (but who’s counting) that my Mom has passed away.  I guess you never forget what you were doing when you get that phone call to inform you that your mother who was alive one day is gone the next.  Going through the roller coaster of circumstances surrounding my Father-in-law’s illness (who thankfully is recovering slowly,) that phone call was a mix blessing. You always think you are prepared for a loved one to leave you - but you’re not. When my sister called me that Friday at 4:43pm, I was sitting at my dining room table, writing up a listing agreement for a one bedroom condo in Coral Springs. I picked up the phone and heard my sister say “Mom’s gone - she died.” I sat there shocked and looked up at my husband Bill and couldn’t speak. As God was so good, got the first flight out the very next day. My sister met me at the airport and we grabbed each other and just wept in the middle of walkway. Funny how you just don’t care about the people around you. Then came the inevitable. Funeral arrangements. 

       My mother was smart enough to plan ahead. We immediately went to the local funeral home - you know that funeral home, the one who is on the bottom of the calendar you get every year from church. My Mom’s wish was to be cremated and no wake. Thank God. Went to enough of them growing up. At this point, my head is numb (not because the weather at the time was 15 degrees) and spinning. I can remember Susan and I walking into a hallway and sitting outside an office. It felt more like going to the principals office rather meeting with a funeral director. What seemed like forever, a man comes out and says “come on in.” A bit too happy for my taste considering we’re here to make arrangements for my mothers remains. 

    My sister sits closer to the wall and I’m sitting next to her while the man who doesn’t introduce himself, sits on the other side of the desk. He asks “what can I do for you.” I wanted to say so bad - “a vodka tonic sounds good to me right about now,” but I kept that to myself. As Susan was starting to talk about how my mom had died, it really started to become a reality. Well, I started to sob. Sob like the ugly cry that Oprah talks about. Tears streaming down my face and a ton of snot right behind it. At this point, Susan is now trying to calm me down by holding my hand and telling me it’s ok. Seriously, the man behind the desk never even offered me let alone my sister a tissue. That did not go unnoticed. As I wiped my nose and face on my black leather jacket, Susan looked over and smile. It was ridiculous at this point, the man behind the desk just kept trying to sell us more and more things that my Mom was just not interested in. We could tell that the man behind desk was not happy with us. All he kept saying was, “just sign here.” Being in Real Estate, I read everything and that he did not like. I must have stopped three or four times to say, no - we are not paying for that or that or that. Again, more tears and snot and again - no tissue. Coming to the end of the meeting, and finally signing off on the final paperwork, I could not stop myself asking, “Um…how long are you in the business?” Seriously thinking it had to be only a few days or weeks, he calmly says “twenty five years.” I thought I was going to choke. At that point, Susan and I exchange looks and just started to laugh. Twenty five years? Are you kidding me? Simon Cowell is a  angel compared to this guy. 

        I was going to get up to leave and I happen to look up at a wooden shelf on the wall and see those beautiful urns like the Veterans flag frame/urn as well as some beautiful pottery ones. It suddenly occurred to me that we never talked about what urn my Mom was to be put in. I turned to the man behind the desk and asked “we didn’t pick out an urn for my Mom.” He then said, no pun intended, dead pan “oh, she’ll be in what is like a coffee tin.” What? A coffee tin? At that point, yes, he pulls what had to be a Folgers coffee tin from behind those beautiful urns and says, “something like this.” 

    

           Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse. It does. We started to laugh, what could you do at that point. Funny how God works in situations. The absurdity of the situation made us laugh. When we got up to leave, Susan looked at the man behind the desk, who never came around to console us in any way, says “do you know you never even gave us your condolences on the passing of our mother.” He then says, “I thought you knew.” Oh at this point, we are laughing walking out the door and sadly, there was a family waiting in the hall. They look at us with a perplexed look and we turn and say - “our Mom died, isn’t that hysterical?” Maybe that wasn’t what we were suppose to say but God was so good to lift our spirits and give us something to smile about. Truly  funny how God steps in just when you need Him most. As in the last blog, God had His hands on everything that week and the blessings that came out were unbelievable.  Death is no laughing matter, but when things happen to make you laugh when you didn’t think you could, it’s ok. Now when I look back at that day, it doesn’t make me sad, but it makes me smile that God made it so funny for my sister and me. Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time. Miss you Mom.

It’s ok to laugh - really - it’s ok. Part 2 of the road trip to NYC.

               Let me start off by saying that I met my future husband when I was only seventeen and he was nineteen. We had lived north of New York City and I never really went into the city because back then, it really was not a great place to visit. Billy (husband) went into the city all the time and started to bring me with him as well. I fell in love with the diverse people, places and things to do.  Nothing was better than taking the Harlem/Hudson line train ride into Grand Central Station. Seeing the musicians play with their instrument cases open for tips (I always tipped by the way!) and the people running to their next stop in the city,  was such a common site. The city has always been a soft spot in my heart and Billy knows that. Even with all the snow and horrible weather up north - I miss Manhattan.

       After leaving his dad in the hospital and his mom back at her house, we ventured down into Westchester. Growing up there, we went around different towns to talk about when we were kids and what places we loved going to. Well, we were exhausted, physically, emotionally and spiritually and knew we needed a place to crash. Being blessed with great family I text messaged my cousin and she did not think twice and told us to come to her house. Blessing number five. She said she didn’t want to kill us with her cooking so we ordered pizza which was great for us because there is no better pizza than in New York. We got there and immediately I could see Billy relaxing and just enjoying the loud conversations we were having. My cousins family welcomed us and treated us like family should be treated. We laughed about old times and enjoyed looking at old photos. Drank wine and sat in front of the fireplace. Looking back at that night it truly warms my heart (no pun intended.) We knew we were going to try to go into Manhattan the next morning so we said our “good-byes” and went to bed. Got up early, a bit fuzzy (how much wine did we drink?) and ventured out.  The roads were fine and we got into Manhattan and started driving around. 

               As we were coming into the city, I could feel tears forming in my eyes and Billy asked why I was crying. I am sure it was just the emotion of being in the city again, with my husband, in the winter time and feeling a bit guilty that I was starting to feel happy. I truly thought, I shouldn’t feel this way knowing that Billy’s dad was still in hospital. Then I thought, this is God putting some happiness in our lives. As soon as we got into the city, everything fell into place. We had made the decision to try to find a hotel, parking and try to keep it within a reasonable price. Well, we did. Ok - the hotel was a bit sketchy but the parking was priced right, we got to check-in early and off we went into the city. Blessing number six! God bless adrenaline. Boots on and Billy leading the way, off we went into Times Square. Yes, I saw the “Naked Cowboy” and my life is now complete. Dang camera needed batteries so I didn’t get a picture. One of the things that I would request was that Billy NOT tell me how many blocks we would have to walk to get to our next destination.  Who wants to know that you have thirteen blocks north and five blocks west. So we walked, and walked and who cares - I’m in New York City again! We got to St. Patrick’s Cathedral and again, here came the tears. That church holds a special place in our hearts as that was our first date (St. Patrick’s day parade,) and I told him I was pregnant with our first born there who we named after St. Patrick. I was so overwhelmed with joy, gratitude and happiness. I think I even saw Billy tear up a bit. Blessing number seven. I would picture in my head going back to Manhattan and this was exactly what it would look like. I always asked God to bring me back and I knew it was going to be His way, not mine. We then walked to Grand Central station, Rockefellers Center, and the place that we love the most - Central Park.



       

This picture has been in my mind for many, many years and now I was seeing it in person! I truly  believed that one day I would see this with Billy and I did!

The rest of the day was great. Then the coolest thing of all was a few weeks back, my friends on Twitter were trying to get together in the city. Twitter is not like Facebook where you can see pictures of the person you are talking to, rather it has basically one picture and a small bio. I had thought in my mind, how I wish I could go but seriously thought there would be no way. God laughs again. Blessing number eight. I found out where they were meeting at this neat pub near our hotel and off we went to wait for them. I was so excited and kept thinking, I can’t believe I am going to meet these people who have kept my spirits up,  who enjoy reading my blog and just genuinely great people. The funny thing is, you know these people by a picture and not necessarily there face but an image, so I couldn’t just point someone out if they were right in front of me! Billy and I got there early and again tears were in my eyes because of the peace and just fun time we were having BEFORE they even got there. Then a slew of people came in and started going up to the third floor of this pub. I said to the bartender, “wish we were invited to that party.” She said it was a private party and just when I thought I wasn’t going to meet my friends, I get this text message to come up to the third floor where everyone is waiting! Blessing number nine! I still laugh as Billy and I anxiously start to go up the stairs knowing that even though I love these people online, I really don’t have a clue what everyone looks like. We enter the room and people start to look over at us and now I'm deathly afraid that we are in the wrong room! Then I heard the first of many screams of delight from a friend whom I met on Twitter come over to me with a big hug. More screams, more hugs. I had no idea how great everyone looked in person! Everyone was so welcoming. Even more so, everyone who knew why we were in New York, asked how Billy’s dad was doing. We were  so touched by that. Below is a collage of the people I met that night. You can see by the huge smiles it was a successful evening.



We laughed and laughed till the wee hours. We walked back to the hotel and never did I think that night was possible. Was happy that Billy had a good time considering, he really did not know anyone, yet, they brought him into “the family!” The night was a perfect ending to a trip that was filled with so many ups and downs. It was great to see Billy having a good time and not feel bad about doing so.  Big blessing number ten. Lessons learned from the trip, sometimes things go the way that you don’t expect them to go but, you are happy that they ended up that way. Dream those dreams as you never know, they just might come true. Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time.

Put it on the calendar - don’t bother - God has other plans.

           As I sit here writing today I have in front of me our calendar that is on the kitchen wall. In January for instance, there were projects due, schedule for the kids, a friends wedding,  a sweet sixteen party, a charity walk and other events that I wanted to make sure we attend. I would love to consider myself a well organized person who writes things down in order to get things done. How many of you have the same calendar on your wall right now. It helps, right? Well, not this time.

          January was going along as we got news my father-in-law had fallen and needed hip surgery. Being an older gentleman, we knew of the risks that come with that type of surgery. I can not tell you how frustrating it is to be in another state while a family member is going through surgery and you can’t be there. Most family members believe that we are void of the situation and we are some how less involved or don’t care as much. So we sit and wait for the phone call that says everything is ok and sigh with relief that it’s over. That did not happen. Unfortunately, the surgery was a success but my father-in-law had trouble after. A lot of trouble. My mother-in-law would call us and say that he was getting worse and that they needed to help him breath. Every time (husband) Bills cell phone rang, we held our breath. At one point, his mom flat out said, you need to come up here now. Bill looked at me and said we better rent a car and drive up now. Ok? What about all the things on the calendar? I have to cancel things, make arrangements and are we really leaving the kids alone! Albeit they are almost twenty, seventeen and fifteen respectfully and all the friends and family near by  said that they’ll check-in on them, that alone made us feel better about going. 

             Not a coincidence, my van was being worked on and the garage felt bad it was taking so long to fix, they rented us a van to use for the weekend. I was calling  for a “reasonable” midsize car and just got the run around. When I was picked up to get the rental van, the rental company said they would be able to get me a midsize car and beat all the other rental companies prices. At this point, I just needed a car. Monday came and we found out that the weather up north was awful. Snow and more snow was the forecast. When I went to drop off the van and pick up the new rental, it was taking too long. The nice salesman who said he would “hook me up” was not there. Now I was in tears as the car I was promised was gone, new fees were going to be tact on and all I knew was that we needed to get on the road. With tears in my eyes, another salesman saw me and said privately, “just take this van, we’ll charge you what you were originally promised, no other fees.” I was concerned about the miles per gallon on the van and he assured me that the other car we were going to get would have gotten the same. This I was going to recognize as blessing number one. Big and roomy to put all our stuff, like heavy coats, a couple of blankets my pillow and of course, our lacrosse sticks (to play at the rest stops!)

              We get on the road and find out that his dad is doing a bit better. I felt that God was letting him hold on until Bill could get there. Knowing we were going to drive through the night, I drove first. (Hate driving at night.) It was like the parting of the Red Sea. No trucks, no traffic, no bad weather - clear roads for me. Seven hours later - somewhere in Georgia, got cheap gas and it was Bills turn to drive. Same thing, clear sailing. Blessing number two.

           God bless New Jersey. Here was the snow, a ton of traffic and the bridges. Prayed for patience and Bill said that he was hungry and where should we stop. There is a diner in Tarrytown, New York, over the Tappan Zee bridge we loved going to while we lived in New York. So there we went. Blessing number three. It was good to sit and relax after the eighteen hour drive. We then headed up to upstate New York where Bills dad was and that part of the drive took a while. We had time to talk. I tried to prepare him for what he might see, as he had never been this type of situation seeing your parent so weak and helpless. 

       We got there, picked up his mom and it was sweet to see her hug her “baby” and just be happy. We headed over to the hospital, and no preparing could help Bill for what he saw. It broke my heart. I had really thought, this is it. We stayed for quite a while. That night, his mom took us out for a lovely dinner and we talked. It was a great spot with a big fireplace (don’t have those in Florida) and I could see Bill relaxing a bit. Over the next couple of days, it was a roller coaster. Times his dad looked good and was trying to talk, other times, it was bad, really bad. They had gotten Bills dad stable enough that it looked like he was going to make it and we knew it was time for us to go. Blessing number four. We had made the choice to take a detour to go back to the “old neighborhoods” and reminisce. What happened next could only be described as “ask and you shall will receive!” Ton o’ blessings to ya until next time.